Motherhood and marriage come with a million unspoken expectations. We’re taught to be the “perfect wife,” the “selfless mother,” the woman who holds everything together.
But what if you don’t want to hold everything together anymore? What if you want more—more connection, more ease, more passion, more time to just be? But also less—less pressure, less guilt, less stress, less feeling like your needs always come last?
I spent years trying to balance it all—thinking if I just worked harder at my marriage, tried more in motherhood, or controlled every little thing, I could create the life I wanted. The more I tried to control, the more disconnected I became.
It wasn’t until I hit a breaking point that I realized:
🚫 I no longer wanted what the world was selling.
🚫 I was done trying to be everything for everyone.
🚫 I wanted to create a life, a marriage, and a version of motherhood that felt good for me.
But to do that, I had to let go. If you’re in that space—feeling stretched between wanting more and less—I want to share what helped me step out of survival mode and into a life that actually felt aligned.
1. Let Go of the Idea That You Have to Hold It All Together
For so long, I thought being a good wife and mother meant holding everything together—controlling the household, managing the emotional labor, and making sure everyone else’s needs were met first. However, if you have to control something for it to work, it was never truly working.
💡 Try this:
- Ask yourself: What am I carrying that was never mine to hold? Make a list of responsibilities, expectations, and pressures that you never actually chose.
- Start letting go of what doesn’t serve you. Maybe it’s the mental load of managing everything. Maybe it’s the guilt for wanting time to yourself. Maybe it’s the belief that your worth is measured by how much you give.
- Reframe what it means to be a great wife and mother. You are not just a caretaker—you are a whole human being. A thriving woman is a gift to her marriage and children.
2. Surrender, Detach & Receive
We think surrender means giving up, but it actually means creating space for something better. So many of us hold on too tightly—to control, to expectations, to a version of life we think we’re supposed to have. But the second we loosen our grip? Magic happens.
💡 Try this:
- Detach from the outcome. Instead of trying to control how your marriage, motherhood, or future unfolds, ask: What if I trusted that everything is working for me?
- Create a daily surrender practice. Write down something you’re releasing control over. Then take a deep breath, fold the paper, and physically place it in a “surrender jar” or burn it.
- Shift your language from control to trust. Instead of “I need to figure this out,” say “I trust the next step will reveal itself.”
The more you surrender, detach, and receive, the more you allow your life to unfold the way it’s meant to.
3. Build a Life That Honors You, Not Just Your Roles
At some point, we have to ask ourselves:
💭 Am I building a life that feels good to me, or one that just looks good on paper?
A thriving marriage isn’t about sacrificing yourself. A meaningful motherhood isn’t about disappearing into the role. You are allowed to exist as a whole person—not just as someone’s wife or mother.
💡 Try this:
- Define what YOU actually want. What does an aligned marriage look like to you? What kind of mother do you want to be? What kind of life do you want beyond those roles?
- Make space for yourself every single day. Whether it’s a solo coffee date, a journaling practice, or simply stepping outside alone—create intentional moments where you exist for you.
- Surround yourself with women who are doing the same. Healing in marriage and motherhood happens when we’re in spaces where we can be fully seen—not just for what we give, but for who we are.
This is why I created HER Healing Hub. It’s not just a space for support—it’s a space where women step into who they truly are, beyond the roles they’ve been given.
You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out
If you feel like you’re stuck between wanting more and less at the same time, this is your permission to stop trying to control everything.
🔥 Trust yourself.
🔥 Trust the Universe.
🔥 Let go of the expectations that don’t belong to you, and create a life that actually does.
And if you’re ready to be surrounded by women who are creating lives that honor who they are, come join us inside HER Healing Hub.
